A Rose By Any Other Name

newadalia

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One thought on “A Rose By Any Other Name

  1. The introduction was quite intriguing and captured my attention. The reason is that it relates to my interests of where I go to for topics of interest. This narrative analysis on Adalia’s genetic disorder encompasses the negative impacts of social media and the exploitation of children. Overall, it allows the audience a brief description of what is going to be analyzed which will keep their attention.
    Areas for improvement include grammar and sentence structure. For instance, in the sentence “As seen, she is impossibly thin, bald, and looks as if she has years on her,” the last part of this sentence can be revised by saying… Another, instance is when “has” instead of “have,” is used in a sentence located in the second last paragraph. Furthermore, I noticed that the third and fourth paragraphs are duplicates, which I’m not sure was intended for impact or an error. Lastly, add more detail and perspective of Adalia’s personal take on the matters pertaining to the status updates and her photos being uploaded.
    The least successful argument is when you state that a five year old wouldn’t know what social media is. I think that you need support for this argument to make it more accurate and precise. Without some proof of what Adalia thinks herself, this assertion falls short.
    Parts of the analysis that I enjoyed were the topic itself because social media is a hot topic when it comes to bullying and exploitation. I found that the impacts and effects were clearly outlined. Also, the examples given reinforced the argument of Adalia’s mother exploiting her on Facebook. Coupled with, the facts that the mother was using her daughter’s condition to get money and sympathy by placing a heart in the status update and using words like “our little Adalia”. Furthermore, I agree that Natalia’s posts are not coherent since her lack of proper grammar leaves a questioning impression. The arguments outlining the flaws in the story are well written.

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